Dear Friends

I have received this through a social support group. Something that I believed will be meaningful to you.

“For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were thosewho had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared.I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, everyone of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently,common themes surfaced again and again.  Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their lifeis almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how manydreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they hadmade, or not made.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed theirchildren’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret.But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patientshad not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regrettedspending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with othersAs a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never becamewho they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friendsuntil their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down.Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let goldenfriendships slipby over the years. There were many deep regrets about not givingfriendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends whenthey are dying.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the endthat happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns andhabits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions,as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending toothers, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

Mother Theresa says:”It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start.”

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do.And by creating more space in your life, you become happierand more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical detailsof life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible.But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them.They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love.Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task.It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end.That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely,choose honestly.  Choose happiness.”

Have a great week ahead!

Let me share with you how you make your dreams come true by attending our Free NLP Workshop NOW!

Check out what they say about my NLP training.

Cayden Chang
Founder & Director
BSc(Hons), MSc
Lifelong Learner Award 2008 Honouree
Co-author, “Do You Have What It Takes To Be BOSS?”

The Lion reached a cross road in the tunnel. It was too dark where either one will lead to. Left or right? Either one appears to lead to nowhere. The Lion just took the one on the right based on gut feel and move on ……. hoping ……

The Doctor walked passed me and told me that he has seen the scan results: both showed negative. In other words, the cancer cells were localised within the tumour and there are no signs of spread to the bones or other organs. Looks like it’s the best scenario among the worst. I took a deep breath and let go a sigh of relieve. Yes, I have cancer, but I will still live. Suddenly, I have more appreciation just to breathe. For the next 30 mins or so, it was the discussion of how the surgery will go, how big the wound be, what will be taken out, what will be put in, etc. I wanted to have the surgery as soon as possible and the nearest tentative date is 10^th Aug 10, a day after National Day. If this date is confirmed, it shall be my 2^nd birthday.

I woke up in the afternoon of 10^th Aug, the surgery was over. I could feel the extreme pain on my left abdomen. While my head was still spinning, I can hear the nurse giving me instructions on to inject morphine into my blood stream by pressing a hand-held button to ease the pain. I pressed, many times. The pain was unbearable but I lived. I fell asleep.

The next time I woke up, I was already in the Intensive Care Unit with my wife standing beside me and I can vaguely hear the Doctor said that the surgery was a success. I looked on my right and saw the blue sky through the window. It was clear without the clouds. I told my wife to pass my 1^st book to the Doctor and fell asleep again.

For the next few days, I refused to have any visitors other than my relatives. I needed to rest badly. Looking my 20cm wound on my abdomen, it’s a good reminder that I live one more time. My mother didn’t made it. Dr Randy Paush did not made it. I was as lucky as Steve Jobs who previously survived pancreatic cancer. I got to know a few patients who have similar problems. There was this man, John, who is undergoing dialysis and a malignant tumour was also found in one of his kidney. Before he went for his surgery, I passed him my newly bought book, ‘The Last Lecture’ with the intention of keeping him positive. I wrote on a blank page ‘Wish You Health, Health and Health’. That is what we all need.

As I am writing this Blog now, I am still suffering from pain from the wound and I have problem walking and sleeping. No matter how much physical pain that I have now, nothing beats the pain of leaving this world and leaving your love ones behind.  

Well, I still will be running my Free NLP Workshop starting next Thursday (2^nd Sep). Let me share with you how you make your dreams come true despite adversities.

I may not be able to jump around like I used to but I can still stand and talk knowing that I am on the road to recovery. Meet me next Thursday and I shall inspire you to reach out for your dreams.

Looking forward to running my Value Investing Programme, NLP Practitioner and Master NLP Practitioner Programme starting next month. Of course, nothing is as good as spending time with your love ones and friends.

There was a glimpse of light right at the end. The Lion made a slow dash towards it. It was a dim light but at least there was light. The Lion dragged its tired body moving forward …… and forward …. and forward. The light became brighter and brighter and suddenly, there was a gush of cool fresh air onto whole body of the Lion. It stood outside the tunnel right now, with a worn out and badly injured body, looked up to the sky and roar loudly …………. once again.

Cayden Chang
Founder & Director
BSc(Hons), MSc
Lifelong Learner Award 2008 Honouree
Co-author, “Do You Have What It Takes To Be BOSS?”

The Lion continued to move forward in darkness. It can either give up the fight, die in the tunnel  or fight until the end ……………

The Doctor arranged 2 scans for me:  a Bone scan and another CT Scan to check the extend of the spread of the cancerous cells. It wasn’t a good experience when they inject radioactive solution and dye into my body. At least I get to lie down and do nothing when I feel the solution get injected through my arteries and my whole body was then pushed into a huge cylindrical funnel. The rest is just for the machine to do all the work. The unforgettable experience was not the test. It was the surprise look on the nurses’ faces when they said ‘You are still young’ after they read why I am there for the test.

After these 2 scans were done, the 2 weeks of wait before the doctor’s review were a test of my positive mind. Anything could happen. The best case scenario is that the cancer was localised, the worst case scenario is that I only have a few months more to go before I leave this world. It wasn’t easy. The mere thought of leaving my family, my little girl, my wife and this world was not easy ………… these thoughts were inside my mind every single night …… every single night as I look at the cloudy night sky ……….

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand”, a quote by Dr Randy Paush who died from pancreatic cancer was what was bouncing inside my head. I have seen his YouTube Video many times but I have never read his book. I then went to Popular Bookshop and bought a copy of his book titled ‘The Last Lecture’. That’s when I have decided to continue to do what I love to do for the next 2 weeks before my Judgement Day.

 Let me share with you how I continue to live my life within these 2 weeks:

1) Conducted my Value Investing Options Strategy Training to 20 trainees at Carlton Hotel with my business partner, Sean. We had a great time! Special thanks to Sean.

2) Enjoyed training my NLP Practitioners for 3 full days:

3) Being interviewed by Ted from Straits Times (Centre) together with my business partner, Pearlin Siow (Left)

4) Meet up entrepreneurs who are featured in my book and so on ………..

Most importantly, spending time with my family. Nothing matters most than my love ones:

Time flies like the speed of sound when it’s limited ………….

Today is the day, it’s the day when the doctor will review my Bone Scan and CT Scan. It’s the morning of 4^th Aug and I waited anxiously at Urology Centre at SGH for the doctor to arrive. It seems like a life time. My wife just held my hand tightly waiting ….. and waiting ………… for the doctor to arrive …..

The Lion stopped walking in the dark tunnel. It was getting hard for the Lion to breathe as the air was stale with death.  It caught a few more breaths, pulled its tired body and move on ……..

The story continues ……………

Cayden Chang
Founder & Director
BSc(Hons), MSc
Lifelong Learner Award 2008 Honouree
Co-author, “Do You Have What It Takes To Be BOSS?”

Hi Friends

Have you ever encounter some events in your life that totally changed your perspective of life, how you see things, and how you see people?

Let me share with you 3 short stories of how I escaped death 3 times:

Story 1

I was a student then in a local university, National University of Singapore (NUS). It all started when I have severe right pain on my right sole. The pain got worse and I have problem walking. I saw a bone specialist in NUH (National University Hospital) and a couple of white spots were found in the X-ray of my right foot. The doctor said that it could simply be nothing or it could be life threatening. To ease the pain, one of the nurses uses a spray to freeze the skin of my right foot and inject me with some medicine to ease the pain. I would have fare better without the injection, I started limping. After more tests and X-ray, the doctor draw conclusion that it was not life-threatening. I was only in my early 20s.

Story 2

A couple of months later, I remembered clearly that it was a cold day after a heavy shower. I was standing at a cross-junction outside Lakeside MRT Station, on my way to work in the evening after the day classes in NUS (I was studying full-time and working part-time). While waiting for the ‘Green Man’ to appear, something extremely hard hit me. It felt like someone has used a brick to hit my head. It took me a few seconds to gain consciousness. By the time I was aware of what’s going on, blood started to flow down my cheek. I looked around and saw a skidded motorcycle where the rider, as well as the pillion rider, were lying on the floor bleeding too. I fainted and by the time I gained consciousness, I was lying in an ambulance, staring blankly at the ventilating fan on the ceiling while listening to some beeping tone from a device which tracks my heartbeat. My neck was tightly fitted with a neck brace. I asked the medical officer what has happened. He said I might have been knocked down by a skidded motorcycle which has gone up the footpath. I might have been luckier if I buy Toto. The journey to the hospital seems like a long time with flashbacks running through my mind when I was young and I caught myself asking myself whether am I going to die in my early 20s? I ended up in Alexandra Hospital and I was monitored for the next 48 hours. The doctor was concerned that if I vomit within the next 48 hours, it means that there is internal bleeding in my brain and I will have to go through surgery to remove the blood clot. X-ray showed nothing and there was no signs of any crack on my skull. I survived the next 48 hours.

Story 3

It happened a couple of days ago when there were some symptoms that something was wrong with my urinary system. I went online and started to search for information. There were 3 possibilities: infection, kidney stones or cancer. I went to see a doctor and got an X-ray immediately. While waiting for the diagnostic report to be out, the doctor prescribed some antibiotics. While waiting for the report to be out, I suddenly felt that I should get some things in order if the worst happens – get a will written up. My days are as usual then – working and spending time with family. As you are reading this, I have just obtained the medical report. It was an infection and I have to be put on another course of antibiotics. Phew! One thing for sure, my will has to be written.

My father has died due to stroke and heart attack while my mum died because of terminal stage lung cancer. I have no wish to die young. My girl is only 2.5 years old and I wanted to watch her grow up. There are so much things meaningful to do in life. I do not wish to go to heaven yet. As Steve Jobs from Apple has said during his Commencement Speech in Stanford University, ‘Everyone wants to go to heaven. But no one wants to die to get there.”

So what has it got to do with NLP?

Ask yourself this question, do you have friends who like to complain about life and what they do not have? Or do you have such challenges?

The moment you have discovered what you are here for and what’s your purpose in life, life becomes meaningful. That’s when your behaviour will totally be changed and thus your destiny.

Have a great week and LIFE!

Let me share with you how you can think positive consistently and changed your life by attending our Free NLP Workshop NOW!

Check out what they say about my NLP training.

See you!

Cayden Chang
Founder & Director
BSc(Hons), MSc
Lifelong Learner Award 2008 Honouree
Co-author, “Do You Have What It Takes To Be BOSS?”